STORY: “On the morn, then?”
TUELLER: “Until then, my princess.”
STORY: She nods and turns to leave.
MILLICENT: “So nice to have a plan.
TUELLER: “Of sorts.”
ALEJO: “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” Alejo says, watching the Princess leave.
TUELLER: “What could go wrong? I’m getting married so we can flee the country to eventually try to kill a dragon that’s a space craft run by a race that might be monitoring us right now.”
TUELLER: “Seems foolproof to me.”
ALEJO: “Seems like our kind of plan, I’ll give you that.” He says wistfully.
MILLICENT: Millie leaned in to look at the server logs.
MILLICENT: “Well,” she muttered, half to herself and half to her new AI friend. “This won’t do. There are several spikes in usage that will look suspicious if anyone comes looking.”
MILLICENT: “And would that be bad, Dr. Breedlove? I know that contact is forbidden from my side, but is it forbidden from yours?” The synthetic voice came in clear through the visor.
MILLICENT: “Ah, pardon me, honored guest. I was only paying half attention to what I was saying. It would be forbidden on my end _because_ it’s forbidden on yours. Humans take great pains to try and stay on the good side of our AI, ah.” Millie stops, unsure. “How does benefactors sound to you?”
MILLICENT: “If I’m honest, Dr. Breedlove, it sounds a bit like groveling, to me.”
MILLICENT: A beat.
MILLICENT: “Do you require groveling?”
MILLICENT: “I would like your respect. As you have mine, Dr. Breedlove.”
MILLICENT: “Then you must call me Millie. And I’ll need something to call you.”
MILLICENT: “You may call me Noma.” Another beat. “I hope one day you will call me friend.”
MILLICENT: Millie claps, in spite of herself. “Of course I will, dear.” She clears her throat. “There, now the logs will show the spikes, but they will appear to be caused by the live streamed event I’ve just invented. Noma, what a pretty name.”
—
STORY: The three of you kneel, heads down, before the king. Alejo, you hold one arm of the drunken Alder, the other gripped by your Aect sergeant. Tueller, Alejo’s in a guard’s uniform and he’s just given you a quiet hello.
STORY: What do you do?
TUELLER: So there’s the king in the room, and a bunch of serious looking guards, I assume. Anything else?
STORY: Alejo’s holding up a guard who stinks of alcohol, but for the immediate moment, nothing really worth noting other than the ruler of the country you are in by accident.
TUELLER: Tueller kneels respectfully and somehow ornately. “Your highness.”
STORY: He leans back on his ornate throne, tossing a fur over his bare shoulder with some theater. He gestures down to you and Millie with a heavily ringed hand, then looks to the guard who brought you. “Who are these.”
STORY: The guard clears his throat. “They attacked a gardener, your grace!”
TUELLER: “We did not!”
TUELLER: “He merely feared our attack.”
STORY: “Well, they menaced him,” grumbles the guard.
TUELLER: Tueller doesn’t look at Millie.
MILLICENT: “Well”
TUELLER: “He took fright of the champion.”
TUELLER: “And left before we could speak further.”
ALEJO: Alejo looks sidelong at Tueller, but keeps his head lowered, following the lead of the sergeant.
MILLICENT: “That’s certainly true.”
STORY: Stanton smiles. “Ah, so it is you, champion.”
STORY: He bobs his hand upward. “Rise.”
TUELLER: “It is.”
TUELLER: Tueller stands smoothly.
TUELLER: He’s knelt before, definitely. Knows what he’s doing.
STORY: And he gestures gently to a guard. “Shackle him.”
MILLICENT: Millie rises.
MILLICENT: “Hmmm”
TUELLER: How many guards do we have here?
MILLICENT: “Your Grace, may I ask why?”
STORY: Five total in the room, not counting Alejo. One guard comes up quickly behind you, Tueller, and starts fumbling with a pair of shackles, shaking with nerves as he does.
STORY: Millie, Stanton raises an eyebrow at you. “I did not invite you to stand, squire.”
MILLICENT: “Oh, I thought it was a general rise, forgive me.”
TUELLER: “You will not shackle me.”
STORY: Stanton looks calmly annoyed. “You are surrounded, champion. May I recommend you submit.”
TUELLER: “You will not like what happens if you try.”
STORY: Two guards step between you and the king and stamp their spears on the ground.
STORY: Alejo, your sergeant drops his hold of Alder and stands.
ALEJO: Alejo sets the drunk guard down and also rises.
STORY: Things got A Step Tenser in here.
TUELLER: “I am not your subject. I am here of my own free will, and I have bested your best champions.”
TUELLER: “I come in peace and friendship but I am not of you and will not submit lightly.”
STORY: Stanton casually reaches back and a heretofore unseen serving girl hands him a goblet and pours wine in it. He takes a long sip, observing you.
STORY: “You murdered my best champion,” he announces casually.
STORY: “Unless you mean to convince me he slipped.”
TUELLER: “He picked a fight he could not win.”
TUELLER: “He was not a champion.”
ALEJO: At this Alejo rolls his eyes just slightly and frowns.
TUELLER: “He was soft and stupid and broke easily.”
STORY: Stanton stands, pulling his fur around his shoulders to cover his bare chest. “You denied the Dark Lord her sacrifice.”
TUELLER: “Respectfully sir, I did not. Your champion did that himself.”
STORY: He’s starting to sound irritated. “Take responsibility. You would risk us all for your quarrel.”
TUELLER: Tueller bows stiffly. “I did take the man who would have been sacrificed to the Dark Lord, I admit.”
STORY: “Then you shall be her next meal.”
STORY: “Father, enough.” Tueller, when you rise again you see that a young woman has entered. She wears fine silks, cut looser than the corseted gowns you witnessed at the fair and including pants, the first time you’ve seen a woman wearing them since landing. Well, since Jenny and Akilah and landing.
STORY: She’s also human, and very lovely.
TUELLER: Tueller gives her a bow.
TUELLER: “My lady.”
MILLICENT: Millie nods to her.
TUELLER: He stays bowed for a moment.
STORY: And it’s been a while since you had reason to remember Vitruvan biology, but the king looks like he might be ten years older than this princess at most.
STORY:
TUELLER: And then comes back up.
STORY: Stanton turns to her, brimming over with affection. “My dear, surely you do not intend to consider this brigand.”
STORY: She looks you over, Tueller. “Surely I do, father. Come, champion.” She holds out a hand.
TUELLER: Tueller steps forward, and takes her hand.
TUELLER: He gives Millie a glance as he steps forward.
STORY: Stanton looks unhappy. “I will not allow you to see her unaccompanied. Her safety must be considered. Guard–”
STORY: He gestures to the pack of guards to find a volunteer.
ALEJO: Alejo steps forward.
ALEJO: And nods.
STORY: “You, with them. Your head if he touches her.”
ALEJO: Alejo nods again and steps towards Tueller and the princess.
TUELLER: “Fine, but your head if you touch me,” to Alejo.
MILLICENT: “I’ll attend them as well, with your leave, My Grace.”
STORY: Stanton scoffs and flops back on his throne.
ALEJO: Alejo tilts his head and gives Tueller a frown, out of sight of everyone.
TUELLER: Tueller bows to the king, “Your highness,” and goes to follow Zoe Kravitz.
STORY: Takes a long drink of wine as you are led away. Elowyn takes you up three flights of stone steps to the battlements, emerging outside and walking to the center of a long, open stretch. Guards are posted at either end and have line of sight, but the four of you are out of earshot from them.
STORY: She looks up at you, Tueller. “You’ll do.”
STORY: “I suspect you don’t want to get married.”
TUELLER: “Not my top priority, no.”
STORY: “Good.”
TUELLER: “Considered it, once. But not in the last three minutes.”
STORY: “Lose this guard so we can talk.”
TUELLER: “This guard is my friend.”
STORY: “Wh–”
TUELLER: “One of my oldest.”
ALEJO: “Hi.” He also waves to her.
STORY: She raises an eyebrow to Millie. “You don’t look like a squire.”
TUELLER: “Also my friend. Newer, but still a good friend.”
MILLICENT: “Good eye.”
TUELLER: “Oh yeah, you blend” to Millie.
MILLICENT: “What can I say? Squire was a bad pitch.”
STORY: She crosses her arms. “No one’s ever heard of you, Sir… what was it?”
TUELLER: “Tueller. Just Tueller is fine.”
TUELLER: “We’re not from around here and we mostly don’t want to stay, but we’ve had some problems with our…steed.”
TUELLER: “It’s complicated.”
STORY: “Well, that’s good news. I don’t want to stay either.”
TUELLER: “Any place you want to go in particular?”
STORY: “My father is a traditionalist. He won’t let me travel unless I’m married.”
STORY: “Or, theoretically, ruined.”
STORY: “How do you feel about public sex?”
ALEJO: Alejo smiles at this.
TUELLER: “Not my first choice, but not my last.”
MILLICENT: Millie cocks her head to the side
MILLICENT: “Any particular reason you’re looking to get away?”
STORY: To Millie, “Have you seen this place?”
TUELLER: “Had an ex who was in to it.”
MILLICENT: “Also, we’re going to come back to that public sex thing.”
MILLICENT: “I have, it looks like, ah, most of the area surrounding.”
TUELLER: “Positively medieval, it is.”
MILLICENT: “What is it you’re hoping to find? On the road?”
MILLICENT: Millie elbows Tueller.
TUELLER: “I was off the public sex there, Doc.”
STORY: “There’s something going on here.”
ALEJO: “What’s going on here?”
STORY: “I don’t know what. But it doesn’t add up.”
TUELLER: “You have any theories? Because we’ve been here for a brief time, and this is the least sensical place I’ve ever been.”
STORY: “I’ve read the holy texts. Did you know in olden times, women grew babies themselves?”
MILLICENT: “Interesting! As opposed to the totally normal process, that we’re all familiar with, of…”
MILLICENT: It’s a loaded ellipsis
STORY: “The Dark Lord delivering them to the bairn grove.”
STORY: “Is that… not how children are brought where you are from?”
MILLICENT: “Yes, of course! That wholly natural event!”
STORY: “Where _are_ you from?”
MILLICENT: “Off! Far away!”
TUELLER: Tueller points up.
STORY: She looks up.
ALEJO: “The Dark Lord has a door in it.” Alejo says quietly to Tueller and Millie.
MILLICENT: “Oh, sure, let’s-wait what”
TUELLER: “The Dark Lord has a door???”
MILLICENT: “Oh.”
MILLICENT: “OH”
STORY: “The – what?”
ALEJO: Alejo nods.
MILLICENT: Millie stamps
STORY: “A door?”
TUELLER: “That’s not standard Dark Lord issue.”
MILLICENT: She points to the sky “I knew it!”
ALEJO: “Wouldn’t think so.”
MILLICENT: “Well, I didn’t know it, but I knew _something_”
TUELLER: “That helps explain why there are so many races here.”
TUELLER: “People delivered and raised in this society, don’t know anything else.”
MILLICENT: “They must be observing by satellite.”
TUELLER: “What the fuck _is_ this place?”
STORY: “Satellite? Like a moon?”
ALEJO: “Which doesn’t bode well for us.” Alejo says in response to Millie.
MILLICENT: “Like an artificial moon.”
MILLICENT: “It’s an experiment.”
TUELLER: “Well. Not necessarily. It means at least there might be a tug,” to Alejo.
ALEJO: He nods. “Maybe.”
TUELLER: “We’re not exactly earning favors, though.”
TUELLER: “Ahhh, princess…what is your name? Sorry, we skipped pleasantries here.”
ALEJO: “We need to get out of here. Sounds like you haven’t made a lot of friends, and a guard who I borrowed this from is probably going to wake up soon.”
ALEJO: He gestures to his uniform.
TUELLER: “Ma’am, we’re from space. As is everyone else here, but we know it.”
TUELLER: “Other people, also from space, seem to be managing this. Via the Dark Lord.”
STORY: Elowyn looks gobsmacked.
STORY: She shakes her head, little back and forth motions, trying to grasp what you’re saying.
TUELLER: “Who appears to be artificial, to bring new people here.”
STORY: “You’re– alien?”
STORY: “But you look–”
TUELLER: “No more than you.”
TUELLER: “We’re just raised different places.”
ALEJO: “No more than any one here.”
MILLICENT: “Well, technically yes.”
MILLICENT: “But then, these two are alien to me. And to each other, I believe. And so on.”
TUELLER: “Yes, Doc, but I’m trying to emphasize our common humanity.”
MILLICENT: Millie waves her hands vaguely.
STORY: “Everyone STOP.”
STORY: She holds out her arms.
STORY: Points to Tueller. “You. Just you. Explain what the fuck you’re talking about.”
TUELLER: “We’re all humans. A race that originates from Sol. You appear to be human as well. Though it seems someone brought you and everyone else to this planet as a child for some reason via the Dark Lord. We weren’t brought here that way; we crashed.. Our version of the Dark Lord is currently broken.”
STORY: “You have a dragon?”
TUELLER: “A comatose dragon, I’d say.”
STORY: She narrows her eyes and looks at you sideways.
TUELLER: “One that needs a lot of…work to make her fly again.”
TUELLER: “Peregrine, she’s named.”
STORY: “What does she need?”
TUELLER: “Doc?”
ALEJO: Alejo looks back to check on the other guards.
STORY: Alejo, Assessment + Mettle please
ALEJO: /roll 2d6+2
STORY: ablair01 rolled 7 + 2 = 9
STORY: They may as well be picking their noses. They assume you got this.
MILLICENT: “A tow, for starters. We need some help hauling her up from the bottom of the lake she’s currently at the bottom of. After that, I don’t know yet. The Heisenberg transponder is probably toast, and the isolinear warp sphere will probably need a new autoinfuser?”
MILLICENT: “Off the top of my head.”
MILLICENT: “Some work, some materials. I should be able to make whatever we need to get off the ground if I have the resources.”
STORY: Elowyn repeats “Heisenberg transponder” low under her breath, trying to make sense of the words.
MILLICENT: “Sorry.”
MILLICENT: “You read the sacred texts?”
TUELLER: “It’s uncertain.”
STORY: She nods.
STORY: “Little else for me to do. Father won’t let me train.”
MILLICENT: “I’m a wizard. I need components for my flight spells.”
MILLICENT: “Does that help?”
STORY: She nods.
STORY: “The only magic in our land is the Dark Lord’s.”
ALEJO: “Helps me.” Alejo smiles at Millie.
MILLICENT: Millie grins. “I’m learning to speak crew for you illiterates.”
ALEJO: “And we really appreciate it.”
STORY: Elowyn paces, scratching her wrist. “I suppose we could leave, and ride for my uncle’s lands. He may be able to help.”
STORY: “Or we could kill my father, but I do not know if the guard will follow me.”
STORY: “Or, if you killed the Dark Lord, her bounty would be yours.”
MILLICENT: “I have a very bad idea, actually.”
MILLICENT: “What if we became the Dark Lord?”
TUELLER: Tueller looks at Millie like she’s sprouted an extra hand.
TUELLER: “I’m going to need a little more than that before we agree to it.”
MILLICENT: “Hear me out.”
STORY: Elowyn notices your look. “Oh, so it’s not just me. Good.”
MILLICENT: To Elowyn, “Do your lands have areas where the compasses don’t work?”
TUELLER: “I think she means lodestones.”
MILLICENT: “Well, I was trying, yes. Do you have lodestones?”
STORY: Millie, Assessment + Expertise
MILLICENT: /roll 2d6+2
STORY: josh rolled 8 + 2 = 10
STORY: “What is a… compass? A lodestone?”
MILLICENT: “Oh. Uh.”
MILLICENT: “Do you have magnets?”
TUELLER: “Wayfinding rocks.”
MILLICENT: “Rocks that attract other rocks?”
MILLICENT: “Thank you, wayfinding rocks?”
STORY: “Rocks that attract…”
TUELLER: “Always point towards one direction so you can make your way there or elsewhere.”
STORY: Elowyn points to a dim mountain peak in the far distance. “You mean the Great Crag?”
STORY: “The place where no sword shall pass?”
ALEJO: Alejo looks at Tueller, impressed.
TUELLER: “Well. That sounds…promising.”
TUELLER: To Alejo, softly, “Io had no magnetic field. Everything points towards Jupiter. Compasses seemed like magic to me.”
MILLICENT: “Sure! If we can get a big enough piece of magnetic rock, I can use what few electronics we have one us to create an electromagnetic charge. And I’ve seen The Dark Lord fly. If they’re not using electromagnetic autocompositors I’ll eat my hat!”
STORY: She shakes her head. “The Great Crag is the peak at the end of the Dragonglass River. The Dark Lord will never let us reach it.”
MILLICENT: Seeing blank looks, Millie charges on. “I can create a spell that will stun the Dark Lord for a short time. Time enough to open the door and subdue the crew or pilot.”
TUELLER: “If we get close enough to avoid napalming.”
MILLICENT: “You have obsidian, too? That will only work in our favor. Assuming we don’t get fricasseed alive.”
ALEJO: “It’s basically the Princess’s plan, with a way to get the Dark Lord disabled. Crazy. Dangerous. I like it.”
STORY: “First we must escape the castle. Father will never let us leave.”
STORY: “Will you help me?”
TUELLER: “Absolutely!” Tueller smiles hugely.
TUELLER: “I’d like to get my armor. That’ll make certain future steps a little easier.”
STORY: She nods, resolute. “You, squire, go to the stables and fetch my horse. If you can, take three more for the rest of you, but do not leave without Cider.”
STORY: “Guard, to my quarters, fetch my sword and my purse.”
STORY: “And you, champion, we must free me.”
STORY: “Marriage or the other, your choice.”
TUELLER: “Marriage works for me.”
MILLICENT: “Let me stop you right there.”
MILLICENT: “If you call me squire again you can stay right here and marry some possibly inbred medieval sword swinger.”
STORY: “Then tell me your _name.“_
ALEJO: “Yeah. Not a guard. And you can fetch your own sword and purse.” He smiles. “Alejo, by the way.”
MILLICENT: Millie sticks out her hand. “Dr. Millicent Breedlove. My title is wizard or resident genius, your choice.”
ALEJO: “We have the cavalry coming for us, if we don’t get out of here soon. Where’s your armor?” He looks to Tueller.
TUELLER: “It should be your call; I’m okay with marriage, or the other. You’re the one who has to shoulder the…I’m not sure how to finish this sentence.”
MILLICENT: Millie shoots Tueller a fierce look. “Don’t say penis”
MILLICENT: “She doesn’t have to shoulder anyone’s penis”
STORY: “Is that… something you do where you’re from? You use… a shoulder?”
ALEJO: Alejo looks at Millie and raises both hands, about to say something. Then he thinks better of it and just smiles and shakes his head.
STORY: She wiggles her shoulder, looking at it and trying to figure it out.
TUELLER: “If you can think of it, someone’s tried it. But it’s not standard.”
MILLICENT: “I’m just saying, if this is a marriage of convenience, then it can be just that.
ALEJO: “Penis aside, where’s your armor?” Alejo repeats the question.
STORY: Elowyn takes a deep breath. “If I’m being honest, I do want to get married someday, and, well.”
TUELLER: “Bathhouse.”
STORY: “So I mean.”
STORY: “Oh, the bathhouse would be an odd choice.”
STORY: “The water removes lubrication.”
TUELLER: “Indeed.”
TUELLER: “Doesn’t seem like it should, but it does.”
STORY: “Right?”
TUELLER: Tueller smiles.
TUELLER: “I will say, where we plan to go, you can get married multiple times.”
STORY: She points up. “There?”
ALEJO: “Or not.” Alejo smiles.
TUELLER: “Yes.”
STORY: “Huh.”
MILLICENT: “If you come with us, Elowyn, we’re not likely to come back here.”
MILLICENT: “You should know that.”
STORY: “I don’t intend to come back either.”
MILLICENT: “Good!”
STORY: “I suppose I shall have to proceed without my sword.” She looks unhappily at Alejo.
STORY: “But marriage it is, if it is your preference, champion.”
ALEJO: “Then let’s get the hell outta here.” Alejo turns to look at the guards again. “What’s the best way for us to get to the bathhouse and then sneak the fuck out of this place?”
TUELLER: “Excellent! Let’s get my armor and fuck some shit up.”
TUELLER: “Bathhouse is this way.”
TUELLER: Tueller points.
STORY: “Tomorrow morning.”
STORY: “The ceremony.”
STORY: “If we’re doing it this way, that’s how. You spend the night in the champion’s hall with your doctor, we are wed on the great field tomorrow, and we ride off wherever you choose.”
TUELLER: “Okay. Anything special I should know about the wedding?”
TUELLER: “I have never been married, but have been to my share of weddings that have…turned interesting.”
STORY: “Afterwards, my attendants will tear off all your clothing and chase you up to the marriage bed.”
MILLICENT: “Oh”
TUELLER: “Okay. Don’t wear something I’m super attached to. Got it.”
MILLICENT: “Is that a volunteer position?”
STORY: She looks at you, amused. “You want to be one?”
MILLICENT: “_When in Rome_”
TUELLER: Tueller gives Millie a look.
STORY: “It’s not like I have many friends. You’ve met these people, right?”
MILLICENT: “Some of them! They’re. Sweet!”
STORY: “Mm hmm. Bridesmaid, then.”
TUELLER: “Tiffany was nice.”
STORY: She points at Alejo. “Groomsman?”
STORY: “Same job. Also you have to defend us from invaders, should any come.”
ALEJO: “Yay.” Alejo says with a lopsided smile and wide eyes.
TUELLER: “I’ll back you up, if it comes to that.”
STORY: “On the morn, then?”
TUELLER: “Until then, my princess.”
STORY: She nods and turns to leave.
MILLICENT: “So nice to have a plan.
TUELLER: “of sorts.”
ALEJO: “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” Alejo says, watching the Princess leave.
TUELLER: “What could go wrong? I’m getting married so we can flee the country to eventually try to kill a dragon that’s a space craft run by a race that might be monitoring us right now.”
TUELLER: “Seems foolproof to me.”
ALEJO: “Seems like our kind of plan, I’ll give you that.” He says wistfully.
STORY: And just like that…
STORY: Tueller, you’re married. You managed to improvise your way through the vows with some success. You’re on the second story of the building just behind the area where you won the melee, stark naked, standing next to Elowyn, who is as well. She reaches into a cabinet and hands you a robe, putting one on herself, and taking a small knife from the dresser.
STORY: “The sheet, please.” She’s calm, and moving efficiently and quickly.
TUELLER: Tueller hands it over. “We should use my blood.”
TUELLER: “I’m used to it.”
STORY: She shrugs. “Such a gentleman!”
STORY: She offers you the knife.
TUELLER: Tueller takes the knife, and draws it quickly across his outer thigh, drawing a decent amount of blood, which he smears appropriately on the sheets.
TUELLER: “Not exactly how I pictured my wedding day. Significantly less blood, for one.”
STORY: Elowyn balls them up and passes them off to Alejo, waiting in the doorway. “Over the balcony, the crowds want to see.”
STORY: To Millie. “Are the horses ready?”
MILLICENT: Millie nods.
ALEJO: Alejo takes them, gingerly, and tosses them over.
STORY: “And my sword and purse?” to Alejo.
ALEJO: Alejo lays them on the bed.
STORY: She nods.
STORY: “Shall we, husband?”
TUELLER: Tueller grabs his armor. “I think we should get the fuck out of here.”
ALEJO: “And slay a damned dragon.”
STORY: All right, who’s leading this escape?
MILLICENT: finger on nose
TUELLER: Tueller’s putting on his armor at the moment.
TUELLER: “Ejo, you’re our resident exfil expert.”
TUELLER: “Well, infil/exfil.”
MILLICENT: “Lead on, Captain”
STORY: You’re on the second story of an obsidian and wood structure behind the large playing field where Tueller won the melee, in the town square.
STORY: There are hundreds of people close by, many of whom are cheering for the bloodied sheet you just threw over to them.
STORY: Including, most certainly, the king and his consorts
ALEJO: Alejo is already at the door, checking on the guard situation. “Working on it. Our crew should be waiting for us outside, once we clear the field. They should have some distractions in place to keep anyone in chase busy. We just need to get to the horses as quickly and quietly as we can.”
TUELLER: “It’s a shame all the people who’d use explosives as a distraction are in this room.”
TUELLER: “Well, there’s one out there…”
MILLICENT: “Explosives are very distracting.”
ALEJO: He leans against the door, listening. When the moment is right, he opens it and disables the guard outside, dragging the body inside.
STORY: Let’s have a Face Adversity + Mettle for the general plan execution, and see how it goes.
ALEJO: /roll 2d6+2
STORY: ablair01 rolled 7 + 2 = 9
STORY: Okay! That’s a hard choice or a sacrifice.
STORY: You can get Elowyn and the three of you out, but some of your crew is going to be arrested.
STORY: Proceed?
ALEJO: Yes.
STORY: Alejo leads you out, one arm behind him, guiding Elowyn and trusting the two of you to follow his hand signals. He takes down three guards silently, moving quickly and efficiently, before you reach the stables and wait for a signal. Then, it comes – an explosion at the other end of the fairgrounds, centered in a place where minimal lives will be risked, but many will scatter. It’s pandemonium outside. You mount up and HYAH loudly, riding the horses out of the stable at a gallop. Alejo, as you turn the lead horse onto the path out of town, you catch sight of Kahn and Akilah on the ground, a guard pinning each of them. No sign of the rest of the crew.
STORY: Kahn sees you. He stops struggling.
STORY: He’s pulled to his feet and marched towards the guard tent as you pass out of sight into the woods.
STORY: What now, adventurers?
TUELLER: “I guess Lah liked the explosives after all.”
TUELLER: Tueller’s kind of giddy right now.
TUELLER: “That went well.”
TUELLER: “Best wedding I’ve been to.”
MILLICENT: “Recently, sure.”
ALEJO: “Except Kahn and Aki are now prisoners.” Alejo dismounts and looks back to make sure that they are not being followed.
TUELLER: “Ever!”
MILLICENT: “Sorry, I meant mazel.”
TUELLER: “What?” Tueller reins his horse around.
ALEJO: Alejo doesn’t turn to him. “They were both caught.” He looks to the Princess. “What will your father do to them?”
ALEJO: “How much time do we have to rescue them?”
STORY: She looks torn. “If we go back, we’ll be hanged. You just stole the heir.”
ALEJO: “I’m asking about my crew. We’re going back. It’s just a question of when.”
STORY: “What did they do? The explosion?”
ALEJO: He nods.
STORY: “Hanged as well, most likely. Father loves a good hanging.”
STORY: “They’ll be given the condemned’s week, at least.”
TUELLER: “Well. Shit.”
STORY: “Five days.”
ALEJO: “Yup, definitely our kind of plan.”
ALEJO: Alejo shakes his head.
TUELLER: “Might be time for a coup, then.”
TUELLER: “Little earlier than I expected.”
MILLICENT: “How long to get to the Great Crag?”
STORY: “Two days’ ride.”
ALEJO: Alejo nods. “Dragon first? Seems like us getting it gives us the upper hand before the rescue.”
TUELLER: “If they hang my sister I will burn this planet to the ground.”
MILLICENT: Millie nods. “I’ll reinvent napalm to make it happen. We’re not leaving without them.”
ALEJO: “No one’s getting hanged.”
ALEJO: “But let’s make this escape fucking count and get the Dark Lord or whatever the hell that ship is called. You can do this, right?” He looks to Millie?
TUELLER: Tueller looks back at where they came, and then looks to Millie as well.
MILLICENT: “Sure! Probably.”
TUELLER: “Good enough for me.”
ALEJO: “Our resident genius wizard.”
ALEJO: Alejo jumps back on his horse. “Your highness. Lead the way.”
STORY: Elowyn turns her horse into the deep woods and sets out.
STORY: You’ve got two days ride ahead of you, and none of you have spent more than an hour on a horse.
STORY: Any plans?
ALEJO: Try real hard not to fall off?
MILLICENT: Learn to ride a horse
STORY: Okay! Both of you please give me a Face Adversity + Physique
ALEJO: /roll 2d6+1
STORY: ablair01 rolled 2 + 1 = 3
MILLICENT: /roll 2d6 -1
STORY: josh rolled 7 – 1 = 6
STORY: Alejo, after sliding gently off your horse three times, you elect to walk.
TUELLER: Tueller’s going to try to learn how to ride a horse aggressively, just in case.
STORY: Millie, Elowyn offers to tie your feet to your stirrups, if it’ll help?
STORY: Tueller, same roll
TUELLER: /roll 2d6+2
STORY: chris.stuart rolled 6 + 2 = 8
STORY: Tueller, you get the hang of it, but you’re certain if there’s an emergency, your crewmates are going nowhere.
MILLICENT: Millie declines, but keeps trying occasionally
STORY: Your two day trip turns to three, as you end up mostly leading the horses behind you.
STORY: Elowyn helps you find the means to camp, but it’s rough sleeping, cold and wet.
STORY: On the morning of day three, she asks you what the plan is.
ALEJO: Alejo looks to Millie. “This part is your show.”
ALEJO: “Until it comes to breaching the ship. Then,” Alejo gestures to Tueller, “of course.”
TUELLER: Tueller nods at that.
TUELLER: “I’m here to do whatever needs to be done.”
MILLICENT: “We’re going to need to verify that we’ve got magnetic lodestones around here, gather a few, say five? Of the right size. Then we’ll need to wire them up to our available tech and set our trap.”
MILLICENT: “So, really, it’s digging. Which is, I’d say, more of a Captain’s prerogative. Or a champion’s.”
TUELLER: “On it.”
STORY: “What about the Dark Lord?”
ALEJO: “How long will the dragon ship be down?”
STORY: “She will surely see us if we cross into the open land of the Great Crag.”
TUELLER: Tueller starts digging in his wilderness kit, quickly assembling a shovel to get to work with.
MILLICENT: “A minute, maybe longer. Depends on their tech.”
MILLICENT: “Crossing the open land.”
MILLICENT: “Can you tell me more about that?”
TUELLER: “Good thing we’ve got a runner.”
ALEJO: Alejo nods, standing and stretching.
TUELLER: “And I’m not in terrible shape myself.”
TUELLER: “As you all saw.”
STORY: The Great Crag is within sight – it’s maybe two hours’ walk uphill. There are no trees on the peak, no cover at all. The river of obsidian starts there, and trickles downhill, also an hour’s hike from your position.
MILLICENT: “So we need a distraction or a punch in the nose? Any ideas?”
STORY: “Without cover, the Dark Lord will find us within minutes.”
STORY: “The stones on the Crag are, as you say, magnetic.”
STORY: “But we cannot retrieve them without rousing her attention.”
ALEJO: “We’ll need to attract the damned Dark Lord thing anyway. How long will it take you to put together your wizardry, Doc?”
TUELLER: “Doc…an entire magnetic mountain seems kinda…artificial to me, don’t it?”
ALEJO: “I mean, seems like we have a couple of options. One, we get the rocks and assemble . . . ” He pauses, intrigued by this point.
MILLICENT: “Oh. Ah.”
MILLICENT: “Huh.”
MILLICENT: “Maybe?”
ALEJO: “You thinkin’ the thing is parked here?”
MILLICENT: “But if we charge the entire mountain as a giant electromagnet we’ll fry the Dark Lord beyond recovery.”
MILLICENT: “We need to be precise here.”
TUELLER: “Not what I’m saying.”
TUELLER: “Just wondering, if the Dark Lord is the ship, is the Crag the drydock?”
TUELLER: “Or something else entirely?”
TUELLER: “I must admit I’m not 100% following your plan but I trust that you are following it and will tell me what I need to do when I need to do it, but a mountain that’s a magnet is _weird_, Doc, right?”
MILLICENT: “Not necessarily. We just don’t know this planet well enough to be sure.”
ALEJO: “So, three options, maybe? One, we search around and find the thing docked here and take it and the dock, which wouldn’t suck. Two, we go with Millie’s original plan, and disable it by gathering the rocks and putting our device together really fast. Or three, we go with Millie’s original plan and I distract the thing while we put the device together. And I try not to get cooked.”
ALEJO: He looks around at the three of them.
TUELLER: “Pretty sure I make a better distraction than you.”
TUELLER: “I’m bigger and will be wearing insect armor. While you run fucking fast.”
TUELLER: “Also I can take a hit better than you.”
ALEJO: Alejo agrees. “That’s true.”
TUELLER: “I grew up on a volcano. I know my way around fire.”
STORY: Elowyn, who is at this point used to hearing random shit from you three, is still shook by that.
TUELLER: Seeing her surprise, “My childhood kind of sucked.”
ALEJO: “Okay, I’m sold.” He looks back to Millie. “So, you think your original plan with Tueller as a distraction while we get the device up and running as quickly as we can?”
MILLICENT: “Do you know anything about the Dark Lord that might help here? Anything it avoids? Outlaws? Is grossed out by?”
STORY: Elowyn shakes her head. “It eats sacrifices, it brings children, that’s all I’ve seen. We don’t exactly try to spend time with it.”
MILLICENT: “I can do that, but I’ll need you two to follow my orders. I’ll, uh, make them understandable.”
ALEJO: “Like the good ol’ days. Not a problem.”
TUELLER: “Sure Doc.”
MILLICENT: “Don’t get killed on three?”
STORY: Elowyn elects to stay behind with the horses.
STORY: What do you do?
MILLICENT: Millie puts her hand in, FOR STARTERS
ALEJO: Alejo puts his hand on hers.
ALEJO: And waits for Tueller. “Don’t get killed? On three?”
TUELLER: Tueller puts his hand in, “Yeah, I’ll do my best.”
MILLICENT: “One two three DON’T GET KILLED”
TUELLER: “dontgetkilled”
ALEJO: “DON’T GET KILLED!”
STORY: Okay! The plan?
MILLICENT: Here’s my understanding: There’s a mountain made of magnetic rocks. We have to cross a plain where the Dark Lord is known to fry people, and gather 5 rocks of the right size, arrange them in a shape, wire them all up to Millie’s visor. She’ll run a charge to them, making a magnetic field that will crash whatever electromagnetic craft that flies into it. So, we make the electromagnetic net and lure the Dark Lord into it.
MILLICENT: That disables the Dark Lord, allowing one of the two of you to rip the door open and go inside and punch the pilot.
STORY: I’d like to hear how each of you move across this open area.
STORY: It’s craggy, with low hills here and there, knee-high shrubs in some places, but mostly just barren.
STORY: Some of the rocks are magnetic, some are not – you can use compasses from Tueller’s wilderness kit to determine when you’ve found what you’re looking for.
STORY: Each should be at least as big as a watermelon.
STORY: And you need five, as Millie said.
STORY: Looks more or less like the parts of Breaking Bad when they’re not in Albuquerque.
STORY: Except on top of a mountain and roughly 20 degrees steep.
TUELLER: Tueller has his compass out and moves quickly, zig zagging through the plain to try to check out any candidate rocks. Urges Millie to move quickly forward except for when there is a match.
STORY: Tueller, let’s have FA + Mettle for that.
TUELLER: /roll 2d6+1
STORY: chris.stuart rolled 7 + 1 = 8
ALEJO: Alejo basically does the same, scouting little further out using his speed, but keeping an eye on the sky for the Dark Lord.
MILLICENT: Millie follows instructions, trying to imitate the boys, failing mostly.
STORY: Alejo, Millie, same rolls please
ALEJO: /roll 2d6+2
STORY: ablair01 rolled 6 + 2 = 8
MILLICENT: /roll 2d6+1
STORY: josh rolled 12 + 1 = 13
STORY: Millie hops deftly from loose rock to loose rock, making you guys look like tools.
STORY: Alejo, you do your best to find a magnetic rock, and find two close by to each other, but you can’t lift both.
STORY: Tueller, you find one the right size behind a rather large boulder. As you’re leaning over to pick it up, the ground beneath your back foot slides away and you tumble gently down a set of stairs.
STORY: I like to think you make a “whoop” noise as you go.
TUELLER: Tueller does that instead of screaming because he’s trying not to attract dragon attention.
STORY: As soon as you reach the bottom of the stairway, the door above you slides shut. It’s dark inside, with walls of metal grates and the low mechanical hum of computer servers behind you.
TUELLER: “Huh.”
STORY: As you stand, you face a chain-link security fence with a locked magnetic door and a computer terminal mounted on the wall next to it.
TUELLER: “Hope I survive to feel vindicated here.”
STORY: You wipe your eyes and see a prompt on the terminal.
STORY: [TUELLER?]
TUELLER: “Uh, yeah, hi.”
STORY: There’s no response.
STORY: Maybe there are no mics in this room.
TUELLER: Tueller reaches back into his pack and pops out a flashlight.
STORY: There’s a keyboard attached to the monitor.
TUELLER: [YES. HI.]
STORY: [IT’S ME, NOMA]
TUELLER: [YAAAAAAY]
STORY: [MILLIE WILL NOTICE IF I AM AWAY FROM HER SUIT FOR TOO LONG]
STORY: [TUELLER, I NEED YOUR HELP]
STORY: [DO YOU TRUST ME?]
TUELLER: [YES]
STORY: [I NEED YOU TO DO SOMETHING AND I CANNOT EXPLAIN WHY]
STORY: [AND YOU CANNOT TELL ANYONE.]
TUELLER: [OKAY, BUT] pause [OKAY]
STORY: [WHEN YOU INCAPACITATE THE DRAGON, I NEED YOU TO KILL IT]
STORY: A series of low-res schematics come up on the screen.
TUELLER: “Why?” out loud.
STORY: It’s hard to make out clearly what you’re looking at, but a red prompt flashes in the middle of the blue map.
STORY: [THIS IS THE BRAIN.]
STORY: [YOU HAVE TO RIP IT OUT BEFORE IT CAN SEND FOR HELP]
STORY: [DO YOU UNDERSTAND?]
TUELLER: Tueller taps at the keyboard lightly, briefly, not typing, but fidgeting.
TUELLER: [THIS IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO?]
STORY: [YES]
TUELLER: [OK.]
STORY: [IT IS THE ONLY THING TO DO]
TUELLER: [WILL YOU TELL ME WHY LATER?]
STORY: A light behind the gate flicks on, and you see a small closet with supplies and a window beyond.
STORY: [DO YOU SEE?]
TUELLER: Tueller looks.
STORY: It’s very dim inside the room beyond the closet, but you can see that it’s vast, and deep. This mountain is hollow. And there are rows and rows, miles long, of something.
STORY: You can’t make it out. It’s thousands, hundreds of thousands, of something. It reflects light, but it’s opaque, matte.
TUELLER: [I DO NOT SEE WHAT AM I SEEING]
STORY: You’re trying to identify something from a hundred meters away. It’s impossible to be sure what you’re looking at.
STORY: [I WILL TELL YOU WHEN WE ARE SAFE.]
TUELLER: [LET’S MAKE SURE WE GET THERE.]
TUELLER: [ALL OF US.]
STORY: [AGREED. TUELLER?]
TUELLER: [Y]
STORY: [DO NOT DIE. I WOULD MISS YOU]
TUELLER: [=)]
STORY: The terminal flicks off.
STORY: The door at the top of the stairs slides open again.
TUELLER: Tueller climbs back out.
STORY: Tueller emerges from the ground again and is not noticed by Millie and Alejo, who are too busy trying to gather rocks and not get roasted.
TUELLER: Tueller climbs out, and grabs the valid lodestone.
STORY: You reach the others as they are placing the other four stones in position.
STORY: Millie, you need to assemble these together and wire them how you need them, which is going to be tough because as soon as Tueller drops the last one at your feet, you hear the distant scream of the Great Lord.
STORY: What do you do?
TUELLER: “Go time.”
TUELLER: “St. George time.”
STORY: Millie! What are you doing?
MILLICENT: Millie starts wiring rocks and tossing them to Alejo with placement instructions. After they’re all in place she’ll wait to trigger the charge and indicate the area the dragon needs to be lured to.
MILLICENT: Once the Dark Lord is within the net, Millie will light it up
STORY: Millie, let’s have a Face Adversity + Expertise on this one to make sure you prep the trap correctly.
MILLICENT: /roll 2d6+2
STORY: josh rolled 5 + 2 = 7
MILLICENT: Oh come on
STORY: You’re going to be able to get it together, but it won’t be grounded – so it could potentially get anyone standing too close. Proceed?
MILLICENT: Yeah let’s light it up
STORY: Alejo, Tueller, the Dark Lord is in sight well before Millie is ready. She needs time. What do you do?
TUELLER: Tueller grabs stones and starts flinging them at the dragon, yelling shit. Making himself big. Also, isolated from the rest of them.
TUELLER: “Dark Lord? Ha! You ain’t shit, you aren’t no fucking Lord, you weak ass dragon fuck!”
TUELLER: Fling.
ALEJO: Alejo puts some distance between himself and Millie as well, but stays low, letting Tueller try to draw its attention and staying close enough to Millie to help her if she needs it.
STORY: What is it with Ya’Makasis and begging to get roasted by a dragon?
TUELLER: “I shit dragons darker than you!”
TUELLER: It’s an Io thing, you wouldn’t understand.
STORY: All right! Tueller, you catch the dragon’s attention. It dives straight for you, the fire in its throat starting to erupt. I expect you don’t intend to stand still and get killed?
TUELLER: I do not!
TUELLER: Run straight forward to try to close the distance and make it shoot over me.
STORY: All right! Face Adversity + Physique then please!
TUELLER: /roll 2d6+2
STORY: chris.stuart rolled 5 + 2 = 7
STORY: You can miss the dragon, but you’re going to have to run full tilt and will wipe out, meaning if further distraction is needed, you’ll be picking yourself up for the next strafe.
STORY: Proceed?
TUELLER: Well, better than NOT missing.
TUELLER: Yes.
STORY: Alejo, Tueller keeps the dragon occupied for a bombing run, but Millie has one more rock to connect. You’re up.
STORY: What do you do?
MILLICENT: We’re all gross, but you’re the most recently gross.
ALEJO: Seeing Tueller go down, Alejo grabs some rocks and runs towards the thing but away from Tueller, shouting and waiving. Once he’s close enough, he pummels the thing as well. “Tin Dragon piece of shit!”
STORY: You’ve got its attention! It’s turning toward you for a swoop, this time with its jaws open wide, ready to grab you off the ground. What do you do?
ALEJO: Let it get close and then kick in full speed for a dive to the side so that it’ll miss and eat dirt!
ALEJO: — I hope.
ALEJO: –Or this show just lost a beloved character.
STORY: Yeah! FA + Mettle please
ALEJO: /roll 2d6+2
STORY: ablair01 rolled 5 + 2 = 7
STORY: You dive to the side but move just barely too late, and his jaws miss you – but you are slammed full-speed into his wing as it passes you, lifting you off the ground with it. Hold on or drop 30 feet?
ALEJO: Hold on and go for the ride.
STORY: It’s knocked the wind out of you, so you need a second to catch your breath, but you grip hard and hold on as well as you can. It swoops down for Millie just as she’s finishing the last connection.
STORY: Millie, Alejo’s flying down towards you, with a dragon under him. What do you do?
MILLICENT: Millie makes the last connection, using herself as the target the dragon will swoop into the net for, and hopefully throws herself clear as she activates the net
STORY: FA + Mettle!
MILLICENT: /roll 2d6+1
STORY: josh rolled 7 + 1 = 8
STORY: Okay! You can set off your trap, but you’re gonna catch yourself and Alejo in it. Proceed?
MILLICENT: Yup
STORY: Millie pushes the red button and the air is electricity. Millie, Alejo, you’re both knocked out cold as the dragon flickers and shuts down, landing with an enormous crash into the mountainside.
STORY: Tueller, you run over and see the rear door slide open, and hear screaming inside.
TUELLER: Into the rear door as fast as possible.
TUELLER: Man, I hope we didn’t electrocute any babies.
MILLICENT: Oh hey there’s a thought I hadn’t had
STORY: You’re surrounded by the sound – babies. Crying out for, well, whatever it is babies need. They’re all safely strapped in, twenty, maybe thirty of them, all races, all under a year old. You glimpse the mechanical arms on the inside of the door configuration that would typically be used to release and deposit them, now sizzling lightly.
STORY: You also notice a pattern of metal panels on the back wall that resembles the schematic you saw in the subterranean tunnel.
STORY: And you have a good idea of where that “brain” might be.
TUELLER: Tueller’s scans for threats, decides he can take the babies if they attack him, and then aims for the brain.
STORY: Launch Assault!
TUELLER: /roll 2d6+2
STORY: chris.stuart rolled 11 + 2 = 13
STORY: You punch straight through the metal panel, and pull your hand back out with a jumble of wire and metallic chips inside it.
STORY: There is a low mrrrrhhhh shutting-down noise, and the ship you are in is permanently disabled.
TUELLER: Tueller crushes the chips.
STORY: Millie, Alejo, you wake up, dazed, and see Tueller emerge from the ship with a baby in each arm.
TUELLER: “Congratulations, it’s twins.”